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Script for 30 Second Debate
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EpisodeEdit

Amir: All right, this is a 30 second debate between myself and Jake. Uh, Jake, what you think about global warming? Do you think humans can slow it down, or is it just an unstoppable force, should we not even bother? Should we be like, "You know what I'm gonna drive my car and I'm gonna eat my gasoline and I'm gonna do whatever I want because I'm an American."
Jake: (Sped up so it's indiscernible) First of all, people don't eat gasoline. That's just a common misconception. And personally, I think we should just let loose, you know? Drive our cars into the ozone layer, eat garbage, poop anywhere we want, like... The earth is fucked and we're all going to be dead by the time global warming really takes effect, so what's the point, right?
Amir: Okay, I can't—let's do that again, I can't hear you when you do like fast-forward talking. Just talk normal.
Jake: (Sped up so it's indiscernible) I was talking pretty normal, I didn't—I really don't think I did anything like fast-forwarding. What the hell does that even mean?
Amir: You did it again, you talked—you talked like super fast and I can't—nobody's gonna understand you.
Jake: (Sped up so it's indiscernible) That's absurd, it's not true at all. I don't—I'm talking very normal speed right now.
Amir: Alright, let's just stop it, let's just do it later because I'm running late so I have to go anyway.
(Amir runs in slow motion)
Amir: Stop it, I'm seriously late!
(Amir runs in slow motion again)
Amir: You're so annoying!

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