Script for Beer |
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Episode[]
- Amir: So drunk.
- Jake: You're drunk right now?
- Amir: No, last night I got so drunk.
- Jake: Oh, you—nice.
- Amir: I had, like, so many beers.
- Jake: How many? How many is so many?
- Amir: I was like retarded.
- Jake: You were? How many beers did you have?
- Amir: Sixty.
- Jake: Sixty? That's—sixty is way too many. That's not a believable number at all.
- Amir: I know. How many is believable?
- Jake: Twelve?
- Amir: Yeah, I know. Twelve. I had twelve.
- Jake: You had twelve?
- Amir: I had twelve beers, yeah. Stupid, afterwards.
- Jake: Yeah, I don't believe you. I don't think you even know—I don't think you've had a beer, ever. Yeah.
- Amir: Yeah right. I drink it all the time.
- Jake: What does it taste like?
- Amir: Sweet. So sweet. Like sug—what?
- Jake: It's not sweet. Like sugar?
- Amir: No.
- Jake: You think it tastes like sugar?
- Amir: It tastes not like sugar. It tastes like the opposite.
- Jake: Closer. Like what?
- Amir: Just like you're drinking—like you're drinking a sourdough baguette.
- Jake: No. That's not it either.
- Amir: Here's two—that was two things it doesn't taste like.
- Jake: Exactly, so what does it taste like?
- Amir: It tastes—you know—beer's water. It's like a fermentable starch source, alright? It's like, malted barley, yeast, it's common for flavoring to be added—
- Jake: Like hops, a mixture of starch sources to be used with a secondary starch source. Uh, yeah. Uh, You're on the Wikipedia page. I'm reading it too.
- Amir: You are?
- Jake: Rice and sugar often being turned into junk, especially when used with...
- Amir: Yeah, I see where you're at, but I wasn't reading it.
- Jake: You see where I'm at, but you weren't reading it?
- Amir: Why, what are you doing tonight? How many beers are you gonna have? I'll double it, easy.
- Jake: I'm not drinking tonight, I have to take my cat to the vet, actually.
- Amir: Take a drink before or after, whatever you drink—
- Jake: She has heart palpitations and they might have to put her down.
- Amir: So sick.