Script for Beerd
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(Amir is in the bathroom, staring at the mirror, a beer can next to him. Jake enters.)
Jake: Hey Amir. What are you doing?
Amir: I'm growing a beerd.
Jake: What's a beerd?
Amir: Well you know what a beard is, right?
Jake: Yeah.
Amir: So a beerd is like a beard, but made out of beer.
(Amir picks up the beer can)
Jake: Oh.
Amir: It's beerd.
Jake: Kinda like a spork is a spoon and a fork?
Amir: Exactly.
Jake: Now I get it.
(Amir opens the beer can and pours it on his chin)
Jake: You shouldn't do this.
Amir: Honestly, I'm like halfway done. It's almost over practically.
Jake: The joke is in the spelling of "beerd".
Amir: Look at me, it's too late! It doesn't matter if it's the spelling, it's too late!
Jake: It's not gonna work.
Amir: It is gonna work, just stop...
Jake: Let's do Quick Characters.
(Jason enters the bathroom; Amir looks shocked)
Amir: Jason, you weren't supposed to see this. Get out!
(Jason timidly starts to leave)
Jason: Give me a fax when I can pee?
Amir: Or anything. I'll send you an email or a fax.
(Jason leaves)
Amir: Let's do that again.

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