Script for Girlfriend - Part 1 |
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Opening Sequence[]
- Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir.
- Amir: Not if you stop watching right now.
- Jake: Right...?
- Amir: Just saying.
Episode[]
- Amir: Kinda crazy, huh?
- Jake: What is?
- Amir: One minute you're here, the next... (Acts out a catastrophic collision with his fingers) you're wormfood.
- Jake: I guess.
- Amir: Isn't it weird that worms are cannibals?
- Jake: They're not.
- Amir: They eat humans.
- Jake: That's not cannibalism, cannibalism is when you eat your own species.
- Amir: So you're saying worms don't eat other worms.
- Jake: I'm saying I don't know, but either way that's not what you meant.
- Amir: Isn't it?
- Jake: I feel like I've had this conversation with you before.
- Amir: Hmh, I think you might be thinking of the conversation I had with my girlfriend last night.
- Jake: Hey Pat, I'm not getting your emails.
- Amir: Hey Pat, you're not getting my girlfriend. (Chuckles) No... What? Jake. Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! JAKE I have a girlfriend, okay? Oo, big whoop. Yeah, it's a huge whoop, and you're not saying anything about it. Why are you being so obvious?
- Jake: Oblivious?
- Amir: Look who decided to show up, ladies and Germanies!
- Jake: Where'd you meet her?
- Amir: What's with the third degree? Can't somebody have a private life? At a laser tag. Read between the lines.
- Jake: No lines there. So you met her at your cousin's laser tag?
- Amir: (Sticking out his arm) Oo twist my leg why don'tcha!
- Jake: That's your arm. What's her name?
- Amir: Her name, is her mane, and that's all that's her-mane cause she's Popeye the sailor dame! Toot toot! Ay yai yai! Ay caramba! Arriba! This stuff's made in New York City!
- Jake: (Cutting off Amir) So you couldn't think of a name fast enough. Here's a lying tip: think of possible questions I'm going to ask you−
- Amir: Okay, her name is Leron...a. Lerona.
- Jake: Lerona. Kinda like your cousin's name, which is Leron, except with an 'a' at the end.
- Amir: Yes.
- Jake: Lying tip number two−
- (Lerona enters, hugging Amir from behind)
- Lerona: Hi.
- Amir: Hey there.
- Jake: Woah.
- Lerona: (To Jake) Hi.
- Jake: Hey. You must be Lerona.
- Lerona: Yeah, but it's Leron-uh. Like you're confused.
- Jake: I am confused.
- Amir: So.
- Lerona: (To Amir) Hi!
- (Lerona kisses Amir)
- Amir: Mmm, I missed you.
- Lerona: I missed you.
- Jake: Very confused.
- (Lerona tousles Amir's hair, both laughing)
- Amir: I like that.