Script for Girlfriend - Part 1
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Opening SequenceEdit

Jake: Hey, you're watching Jake and Amir.
Amir: Not if you stop watching right now.
Jake: Right...?
Amir: Just saying.


Amir: Kinda crazy, huh?
Jake: What is?
Amir: One minute you're here, the next... (Acts out a catastrophic collision with his fingers) you're wormfood.
Jake: I guess.
Amir: Isn't it weird that worms are cannibals?
Jake: They're not.
Amir: They eat humans.
Jake: That's not cannibalism, cannibalism is when you eat your own species.
Amir: So you're saying worms don't eat other worms.
Jake: I'm saying I don't know, but either way that's not what you meant.
Amir: Isn't it?
Jake: I feel like I've had this conversation with you before.
Amir: Hmh, I think you might be thinking of the conversation I had with my girlfriend last night.
Jake: Hey Pat, I'm not getting your emails.
Amir: Hey Pat, you're not getting my girlfriend. (Chuckles) No... What? Jake. Jake! Jake! Jake! Jake! JAKE I have a girlfriend, okay? Oo, big whoop. Yeah, it's a huge whoop, and you're not saying anything about it. Why are you being so obvious?
Jake: Oblivious?
Amir: Look who decided to show up, ladies and Germanies!
Jake: Where'd you meet her?
Amir: What's with the third degree? Can't somebody have a private life? At a laser tag. Read between the lines.
Jake: No lines there. So you met her at your cousin's laser tag?
Amir: (Sticking out his arm) Oo twist my leg why don'tcha!
Jake: That's your arm. What's her name?
Amir: Her name, is her mane, and that's all that's her-mane cause she's Popeye the sailor dame! Toot toot! Ay yai yai! Ay caramba! Arriba! This stuff's made in New York City!
Jake: (Cutting off Amir) So you couldn't think of a name fast enough. Here's a lying tip: think of possible questions I'm going to ask you−
Amir: Okay, her name is Leron...a. Lerona.
Jake: Lerona. Kinda like your cousin's name, which is Leron, except with an 'a' at the end.
Amir: Yes.
Jake: Lying tip number two−
(Lerona enters, hugging Amir from behind)
Lerona: Hi.
Amir: Hey there.
Jake: Woah.
Lerona: (To Jake) Hi.
Jake: Hey. You must be Lerona.
Lerona: Yeah, but it's Leron-uh. Like you're confused.
Jake: I am confused.
Amir: So.
Lerona: (To Amir) Hi!
(Lerona kisses Amir)
Amir: Mmm, I missed you.
Lerona: I missed you.
Jake: Very confused.
(Lerona tousles Amir's hair, both laughing)
Amir: I like that.

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