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Script for High School Friend
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EpisodeEdit

Jake: (On his phone) Hey, what's up dude? You here? Nice. Alright, I'll come right down. See ya. (Hangs up)
Amir: What the hell are you doing, man?
Jake: I'm just going to pick up my friend from high school, give him a little tour.
Amir: Ha ha yeah. You don't see me hanging out with like friends high school giving tours for fun. Right?
Jake: You don't have any friends.
Amir: Don't need friends, I have you. You bring your friend up here, I'm gonna beat the shit out of him. That's a guarantee, alright?
Jake: Just try to be polite, please? We're not gonna be here long, alright.
Amir: Yeah, I'll be polite. I'll be polite when I kick his ass OUTTA here! He's done dude!
Jake: (Walking away) Chill out!
(Amir gets up and practices fighting)
Amir: You're welcome Jake. Whatever.
(Jake returns with his friend; Amir is facing the window airboxing, so Jake taps him on the shoulder to get his attention)
Jake: Amir.
Amir: What's up man?
Jake: This is my friend Josh.
Amir: Yeah, what's up bro...
Josh: Hey, nice to meet you.
Amir: Yeah, for sho. Uh... this guy's fly. This guy's definitely fly. What are you guys doing tonight? All-around shorties? I know a phat party. We can go right now.
Josh: What's up with your friend, Jake?
Amir: (Doing the wave with Josh's arm) Woo!
Jake: Everything. I don't know where to start, I guess.
Amir: I like this guy, you know? I really do.
Jake: You like this guy. Cause...
Amir: Yeah. Yeah.
Jake: Cause a minute ago you said you were gonna kick his ass.
Josh: What?!
Amir: Pff...
Jake: Yeah, you know what, you guaranteed it actually.
Amir: What?
Jake: You guaranteed you were gonna beat the shit out of him.
Amir: No... I think I was talking about your other friend.
(Amir tries to punch Josh, but Josh catches his fist, twists his arm behind his back and forces him onto his desk)
Amir: Nngh! Jake! Awgh... Good luck getting into a phat party without me, you guys.
(Josh twists his arm more, with a crunching sound)
Amir: AAAHHH!—

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