Script for Keys
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Opening SequenceEdit

Amir: Hey, err... sheesh. Jake—
Jake: Start it over.
Amir: No no no, it's fine it's fine.
Jake: It's not fine.


(Jake is walking through the office when Amir comes to join him)
Amir: Sup! (Drops his keys) Er, ah.
Jake: Dropped something.
Amir: No, impossible. I don't drop shit, I don't pick shit up; that's kinda my ish. So.
Jake: You don't drop shit, but you dropped your keys.
Amir: Haha—(grabs the back of Jake's head and speaks directly into his face) I've never dropped anything, ever.
Jake: Let go of my head, right?
Amir: Okay.
Jake: What did Ricky say about touching me?
Amir: He said maybe, sometimes, if you asked politely.
Jake: He said never.
Amir: Okay.
Jake: So those aren't your keys.
Amir: Neh.
Jake: Neh.
Amir: Neh.
Jake: Neh.
Amir: NEH!
Jake: (Picks up the keys) These aren't yours?
Amir: Nope.
Jake: (Throwing the keys away) So that's fine.
Amir: Ahh, yep, that's coo. That's coo.
Jake: That's cOO. Okay, that's coo. How are you gonna act like you're too proud for anything when your pants are on backwards right now?
Amir: Yeah, righ.
Jake: Unzip your fly?
Amir: My regular fly? Or my butt fly?
Jake: Let's do the regular fly just cause a butt fly isn't a real thing.
Amir: Okay, good idea. But, lemme do my butt fly first, and then if we have time I will do my regular one. How does that sound?
Jake: Where do you have to be? That's a good question. Where do you have to be?
Amir: I have to call my landlord, if you must know, because I misplaced my keys this morning.
Jake: Totally unrelated incident, I got it.
Amir: Yes.
Jake: Where's your phone?
Amir: It's in my back—front pocket. (Takes the phone out of his back pocket, which is at the front since his pants are on backwards) It's in my back-front po—(drops his phone)
Jake: You didn't drop that.
(Amir shakes his head)
Jake: No.
(Amir points to his hand as if he's on the phone)

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