Script for Keys |
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Opening Sequence[]
- Amir: Hey, err... sheesh. Jake—
- Jake: Start it over.
- Amir: No no no, it's fine it's fine.
- Jake: It's not fine.
Episode[]
- (Jake is walking through the office when Amir comes to join him)
- Amir: Sup! (Drops his keys) Er, ah.
- Jake: Dropped something.
- Amir: No, impossible. I don't drop shit, I don't pick shit up; that's kinda my ish. So.
- Jake: You don't drop shit, but you dropped your keys.
- Amir: Haha—(grabs the back of Jake's head and speaks directly into his face) I've never dropped anything, ever.
- Jake: Let go of my head, right?
- Amir: Okay.
- Jake: What did Ricky say about touching me?
- Amir: He said maybe, sometimes, if you asked politely.
- Jake: He said never.
- Amir: Okay.
- Jake: So those aren't your keys.
- Amir: Neh.
- Jake: Neh.
- Amir: Neh.
- Jake: Neh.
- Amir: NEH!
- Jake: (Picks up the keys) These aren't yours?
- Amir: Nope.
- Jake: (Throwing the keys away) So that's fine.
- Amir: Ahh, yep, that's coo. That's coo.
- Jake: That's cOO. Okay, that's coo. How are you gonna act like you're too proud for anything when your pants are on backwards right now?
- Amir: Yeah, righ.
- Jake: Unzip your fly?
- Amir: My regular fly? Or my butt fly?
- Jake: Let's do the regular fly just cause a butt fly isn't a real thing.
- Amir: Okay, good idea. But, lemme do my butt fly first, and then if we have time I will do my regular one. How does that sound?
- Jake: Where do you have to be? That's a good question. Where do you have to be?
- Amir: I have to call my landlord, if you must know, because I misplaced my keys this morning.
- Jake: Totally unrelated incident, I got it.
- Amir: Yes.
- Jake: Where's your phone?
- Amir: It's in my back—front pocket. (Takes the phone out of his back pocket, which is at the front since his pants are on backwards) It's in my back-front po—(drops his phone)
- Jake: You didn't drop that.
- (Amir shakes his head)
- Jake: No.
- (Amir points to his hand as if he's on the phone)