Script for Locked Out
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Opening SequenceEdit

Jake: Hey, it's Jake and Am--
Amir: (yelling)
Jake: What are you doing?
Amir: Sorry, I freaked out.
Jake: Yeah.


(Jake is in hallway, pounding on apartment door - Amir is just inside by the door)
Jake: Hello.
Amir: Go. Away.
Jake: This is MY apartment!
Amir: (sighs) I knew you'd bring that up! Just leave me the frig alone!
Jake: (sighs) What did I do?
Amir: It's not what you did. It's what you didn't do.
Jake: What didn't I do?
Amir: Everything!
Jake: I didn't do everything?
Amir: So you freaking admit it!
Jake: No.
Amir: HA!
Jake: What's funny? (pause) Look, what do I have to do for you to let me in?
Amir: You know exactly what you need to do.
Jake: (sighs)
Amir: And it's not sighing loudly into the like EVERYTHING I SAY IRRITATES YOU!!
Jake: Fine. I'll sign your facebook wall.
Amir: Ooo...he's getting warmer. And?
Jake: I'll high-five you in front of Pat Cassels.
Amir: Ooo...he's on fire. And?
Jake: I'll send you a nice text message, so you can show it to everybody at work.
Amir: Ooo, he's fully clothed in a jacuzzi, he's so warm. AND?
Jake: When you ask me questions at work, like 'how random would it be if we both had red, curly hair?' I'll give you legitimate answers instead of just saying 'I don't know'.
Amir: How random would it be?
Jake: (unenthusiastically) God. So random.
Amir: Eeeh. Wrong answer. Random as flonk. Bye. (switches light off)

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