Script for Lunch Meeting |
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Episode[]
- (Jake and Amir are in a conference room. Amir runs out, and returns an indefinite amount of time later, still putting on a shirt identical to Jake's.)
- Jake: So you left to get the same shirt as me?
- Amir: Can't prove that. Let's eat.
- Jake: Can we just try to get some work done before we do that, please?
- Amir: Can I just eat before we get some work done? Because I'll be more productive if I have food in me.
- Jake: You probably won't be, but fine. Not gonna argue.
- Amir: (Using the phone) I'm gonna order something.
- Jake: Okay.
- Amir: (Talking into the phone) 911? Yes—
- (Jake slams on the phone's switchook)
- Jake: Jesus Christ, man!
- Amir: What? You don't know how hungry I am! It's a fucking emergency dude.
- Jake: Jus—it's not an emergency, just call Domino's.
- Amir: I'm hungry as shit.
- Jake: Don't care.
- Amir: I'll do it the old fashioned way though, for you. (Talking into the phone) Bonjour, Domino's.
- Jake: Pizza's Italian.
- Amir: Uh, yes. Can I have 30 large cheese fromage pizzas—
- Jake: That's too many.
- Amir: Okay. 30 medium pizzas then.
- Jake: But that's still 30. Amir.
- Amir: (To Jake) I'll take the rest for dinner. Don't worry about it. (To Domino's) Uh, yes. That's fine. Uh, charge it to my credit card. The number... yes.
- Jake: Okay then just hang up.
- Amir: The number...
- Jake: Hang up the phone.
- Amir: The number of my credit card is 8.
- (Jake hits the switchook)
- Jake: Come on.
- Amir: What if he believed it?
- Jake: It wouldn't have been good if he believed it. I'm calling a deli. (Talking into the phone) Hi. Uh, can I have a turkey club? Uh, and...
- Amir: 30 medium pizzas.
- Jake: (To Amir) Instead of that.
- Amir: Jam.
- Jake: What kind of bread?
- Amir: No bread.
- Jake: That's disgusting, I'm not saying that. You say it.
- Amir: Just... (takes the phone) Hi. Yeah, I'm sorry. Uh, can I have jam? Tuna fish, cracked pepper, and vinegar, on a chocolate croissant.
- Jake: Oh my god, that's dis...
- Amir: And, to drink... just... (To Jake) Do you want anything?
- Jake: (Shaking his head) I lost my appetite.
- Amir: (To the phone) Uh, just a keg of what Coke is made out of.
- Jake: Syrup?
- Amir: Just the syrup, yeah. Uh, yeah that should be fine. Oh! Um, and, do you guys... you know how turkey pastrami is like, turkey with a pastrami seasoning around it? Do you have that, but with Twinkies? With the seasoning? No. Okay. So that was just a dream of mine, then. That's fine, I was just checking.