Script for Miami - Part 3 (Bang Bus) |
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Opening Sequence[]
Episode[]
- (Sam and Amir are trying to hitchhike, Sam sticking his middle finger at passing cars)
- Sam: I don't get why nobody's pulling over, I've been doing this for an hour.
- Amir: Use a different finger.
- (Sam puts up his other middle finger)
- Amir: That'll do it.
- Sam: Hey! Hey!
- Amir: Okay.
- Sam: It's working!
- Amir: Okay. Higher!
- Sam: It's working!
- Amir: Higher! Higher!
- Sam: Hey!
- (A van pulls over; the man in the passenger seat has a camera)
- Cameraman: Hey what's up guys?
- Sam: Hey man.
- Cameraman: You guys need a ride?
- Sam: Yeah, we're going to see Jake Hurwitz.
- Cameraman: Oh that's perfect, we're actually heading in that direction.
- Sam: Awesome.
- Amir: That's great.
- Sam: That's great.
- Cameraman: Let's roll, come on!
- (Sam and Amir get in the van)
- Cameraman: Come on in, fellas.
- Amir: Sup!
- Sam: You guys got wall-to-wall carpet in your van!
- Cameraman: Oh, isn't it great?
- Sophia: Hi, guys!
- Amir: Crazay. (The van starts to move and Amir almost loses his balance) Oh, hey, he's moving...
- (Sam and Amir sit in the back, next to Sophia)
- Sophia: Hi, I'm Sophia!
- Sam: Hey Sophia, how's it going?
- Sophia: Good!
- Amir: Oh, this is like a...
- Sophia: (Climbing on top of Sam and kissing him) Oo, I like you.
- Amir: This is, like, other people are going to see Jake? Er...
- Sam: Oh my god. I like you too.
- Camerman: Be a little careful, she's a bit crazy.
- Amir: Sam, stay in the game.
- (Sophia climbs on Amir next)
- Amir: Oh! Hi. I don't care.
- Sophia: Hi!
- Sam: I don't care.
- Cameraman: But she's nice! You don't have to be shy.
- Amir: No, no! I'm a—okay... Sam, what's still—
- Sam: Hey Amir, can I talk to you on the other side of the van for a second?
- Amir: Uh, sure. (To Sophia) We'll be back, I think.
- (Sam and Amir go towards the front of the van)
- Sam: Hey man, I think I really have a chance with this girl, and I'd appreciate it if you'd back the fuck off.
- Amir: What are you talking—you just can't stand that for once in your life some girl loves me more than she loves you!
- Sam: It's just so rare that I have so much in common with somebody right away.
- Amir: So much in—what do you have in common with her?
- Sam: We both think I'm cute!
- (Sophia is about to have sex with another man in the back)
- Amir: First of all, I'm sorry comprende but, you are not her type.
- Sam: What do you mean I'm not her type?!
- Amir: Okay, first of all, look at the guy she's with right now, right?
- Sam: Yeah.
- Amir: He looks like moi.
- Sam: Okay he does not. He looks much more like moi than yoi.
- Amir: No, look at his dick!
- Sam: I am looking at his dick!
- (Jake is still walking and on the phone)
- Jake: Hey, Jamie! What's up? Yeah, um, I'm in Miami for work. So I have, like, meetings now, but maybe we could, uh, hang out after. Okay, um—no, now is fine! Now is good. Those meetings just aren't happening anymore.
- (Back to Sam and Amir)
- Amir: (Looking out the window) That looks like Jake!
- Sam: That looks nothing like Jake's dick, Jake's dick doesn't have nearly that—
- Amir: No, that looks like Jake!
- (Sam looks out the window)
- Sam: Oh my god that's Jake!
- Amir: That is Jake!
- Sam: Jake! Pull over!
- Amir: Jake! Pull over!
- Jake: I'm on 17th and Collins.
- (The van pulls up to Jake)
- Amir: Jake.
- Jake: Oh my god. Hey psychos. What are you doing here?
- Amir: Oh nothing much, psycho, just coming to rescue you.
- Sam: Yeah psycho.
- Jake: That's not a pet name.
- Amir: Yeah Sam, butt out.
- Sam: I wanna be a psycho.
- Jake: How the hell did you guys get here, and what is this—you guys are in the Bang Bus.
- Amir: What's a bang bus?
- Jake: It's a porn site. They get strangers to fuck in a van.
- Sam: No, there are no pornstars here. Just an awesome girl competing over mine and Amir's affection.
- Jake: Is she fucking somebody?
- Amir: Is she preparing for us? Yes.
- Sam: (To Sophia) You know there's such a thing as overpreparing!
- Jake: (To Jamie) Hey, I'm sorry. Um, what was that address again? I think I just found a ride.