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Script for Party Planning
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Opening Sequence Edit

Amir: When I say Jake, you say Amir. Jake.
(Silence)
Amir: Wow, I hate you.

Episode Edit

(Jake, Amir and some others are sitting in a room)

Amir: Alright guys, thanks for coming to El Meeting.
Vincent: Uh, you didn't call this meeting.
Amir: Uh, I know, I'm just thanking people for coming to it. Or is it illegal to thank people ya fat prick?

(New Scene)

Jake: Okay, we just need to plan this intern appreciation surprise party.
Amir: (Lifting Jake's arm) Exactly, me and my boyfriend were talking about it—
Jake: (Angrily jerking back his arm) Ugh, what the hell are you doing!
Amir: What?
Jake: I'm not you're boyfriend.
Amir: Oh my god, sorry, you're a boy and you're my friend. Relax, I misspoke.
Jake: Okay, so you're justifying it or you misspoke? Which one?
Amir: Yes.

(New Scene) (Amir is being restrained and screaming at Jeff.)

Amir: —fucking face you Jew! Give me a reason to kill you!

(New Scene) (Everything is back and calm)

Dan: Alright, so how do we get the interns in there without them knowing it's a party.
Amir: (Laughs) I'm sorry, who are you?
Dan: Uhm, Dan, I've worked here almost three years dude.
Amir: Oh, dude, okay, dude, this is how we do things around here bud. Round 1: when you..err (knocks on table). Wow, totally spaced out. Uh, no, but, he uh, B-Brad said something good which was, uh, that, say that one more time? How are we going to get them there without them knowing that it's a, cause it's a surprise... He's uh... New guy made a dec' point! (Talking in high pitch) Holy crap, sound the alarms!

(New Scene) (Amir is being restrained and screaming at Jeff again.)

Amir: I wanna diiie! Hit me you fu—

(New Scene) (Everything is back and calm)

Jeff: A lot of the interns are under 21, so we're go—
Amir: So you can't fuck 'em.
Jeff: So we're gonna have to be careful with alcohol.
Amir: (Speaking to Jake) You said I couldn't fuck 'em!
Everyone but Amir and Dan: You can't fuck them!
Dan: (Simultaneously with everyone else) You can't butt fuck them!
Amir: I know! Relax, moms.

(New Scene)

Pat: Yeah I can call the karaoke place, but someone else has to dial for me because Amir broke my fingers—
Amir: Are we married to the karaoke idea? Because it sounds like a sausage fest, and gay marriage is illegal in New York (laughs). Nothing, huh? No laughter, but if Jake says it everyone's fucking cracking up I bet.
Jake: They wouldn't crack up.
Amir: I would be! I would be.

(New Scene)

Amir: (Rapping) And we, appreciate you interns, wanna jump up and down, wanna move you to the left like a glass of Pepto Bismol, ain't no—
Dan: Okay yeah you shouldn't freestyle at the party, that was really bad.
Amir: Okay I think it was bad too, man.

(New Scene) (Amir is being restrained and screaming at Jeff again.)

Amir: Hit me in the fucking face!

(New Scene)

Pat: So, if the room is 300 dollars for the night—
Amir: I'm sorry, do I have to be here anymore?
Everyone else: No!
Amir: Fuck it! I'm staying, just, can we please (gesturing and trying to whistle) hurry it up? (Speaking to Jake) Can you whistle when I do that cause I can only... (tries to whistle again)
Jake: No.

Outro Edit

(Amir is walking by some interns sitting at a table)

Amir: Thursday night, surprise party.
Intern: What?
Amir: Thursday night, surprise party, so. Run by moi, for yoi, so. Act grateful. (Claps) And surprised.

(Camera pans to Jake, who looks annoyed)

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