Script for Six Flags
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(Jake is sitting at his desk with black eyes and a bandage on his nose, looking sullen. Sarah rolls over.)
Sarah: Hey. Come on, let's do something fun, let's, um... go to Six Flags, like we wanted to.
Amir: Oh sheesh, amusement park, I am there brotha.
Jake: I'm not your fucking brotha, and you're not invited.
Amir: Why not?
Jake: Okay, number one you hate roller coasters.
Amir: Okay, number one most of it is waiting in lines, which I love to do. Next.
Jake: Okay then, number two that's sad, and number three, every time everybody's hanging out together and having fun, you seem to ruin it.
Amir: What? What are you talking about?
Jake: Oh, I don't know, why don't we start with: earlier today when we were all sitting on the beanbag?
(The flashback commences)
(Dan, Streeter, and Sarah are on the beanbag, and Jake and Pat are beside it. Amir is sitting at his desk, which is nearby. They talk over each other, so not all of the dialogue could be transcribed.)
Sarah: That's not true either, maybe you said "fat girls".
Dan: But then—but then how do you define doggy style? Like, when a girl's just totally flat on her stomach, is that still doggy style? Or is that...
Sarah: Yeah that counts—like, with the legs together?
Dan: Legs together.
St: No way! No!
Sarah: Yeah! Why does that not count? It's—it's from behind [...]
St: Cause it's a whole different motion!
(Amir gets up and walks over)
Amir: Guys, listen. You guys are talking about butch league stuff.
Jake: Butch league...
Amir: This is what you do: suspend the girl. Two hooks, through the meat of her back. One in the base of her spine. Two through her shoulderblades. You suspend her towards the roof, counterclockwise. She falls to you clockwise, and you're supine on a raised platform; when you guys meet, it goes into her like a screwdriver.
(Everyone is disgusted and starts to leave)
Dan: [...], man.
St: Dude!
Sarah: Nope.
Amir: You have to break her legs to get in the hole.
Dan: Fuck.
(A second flashback commences. About ten people are dancing to Semi-Charmed Life near Amir's desk, where he is sitting.)
Amir: (Whispering) Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the floor. Let the bodies hit the—FLOOOOORRRR!
(Amir gets up and starts madly shoving everyone)
(A third flashback commences. A pushup contest is happening, again near Amir's desk. Three people, including Jake, are doing pushups, and five people are cheering. Amir runs towards the group.)
Amir: Cannonbaaaaall!
(Amir jumps onto Jake's head, smashing his nose)
Amir: Wow. You are still pissed about that, aren't you.

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