Script for Twitter |
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Episode[]
- (Amir has his phone out)
- Amir: Just texting, texting texting texting. Jake. Texting—
- Jake: Yup?
- Amir: —texting, is this thing on?
- Jake: Cool.
- Amir: I'm texting.
- Jake: Got it.
- Amir: Using T9. The Terminator.
- Jake: What?
- Amir: Sorry if my texting is bothering you?
- Jake: Your talking is bothering me.
- Amir: Sorry, then I'll just sit here and text. I shall tiaxt. (Falsetto) Tiaxt with my dia—
- Jake: Don't.
- Amir: 'Kay. I'm texting my Twitter, though. I'm texting my Twitter account.
- Jake: You got a Twitter?
- Amir: Don't act so shocked, you ********************.
- Jake: That was unnecessarily mean.
- Amir: Sorro.
- Jake: Do you even know what a Twitter is?
- Amir: (Rapping) Lemme explain in a way you understand, it's a place that—
- Jake: I'll understand words.
- Amir: Alright. It's an online place that you keep your secrets.
- Jake: How's that?
- Amir: Basically you, like, text a website, and it privately stores your information online, like in a lock—like an online lockbox—like a lockbox—like a loc—Jake, remember Alfred Gore?
- Jake: Albert Gore. You know, I think Twitter's actually—
- Amir: Actually what?
- Jake: Actually a great way to keep your secrets. Good call, good call.
- Amir: Would you say it's the best call ever?
- Jake: No.
- Amir: Well, would you say that it's the best call ever right now?
- Jake: What's your Twitter's name?
- Amir: (Sarcastically) Doyt Hickey. (Seriously) jakeandamir.
- Jake: Right, you use that for everything.
- Amir: For sure.
- Jake: Not saying it's a good thing.
- Amir: But you're saying that it's a thing.
- Jake: I guess. I don't—what does it matter if it's a th—yeah, it's a—obviously—
- Amir: Just shut your fat lips and tell me how to spell weenis!
Outro[]
- Jake: W.
- Amir: Slow down!