Script for Yoga
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Opening SequenceEdit

Amir: Hi!
Jake: And?
Amir: You are watching. So.
Jake: Anything else?
Amir: You're watching Jake and Amir.


(Amir comes in in a speedo)
Jake: Wow.
Amir: I know, right?
Jake: No, you obviously don't if you're the one wearing that.
Amir: Doing yoga. So.
Jake: Doesn't explain... this.
Amir: Yeah. It's the hot yoga. So. Bikram.
Jake: Right, even still, I cannot imagine that's appropriate attire for yoga, or work especially.
Amir: Yeah well, I didn't want to change at work, okay? Cause it's gross here.
Jake: You walked to work in that?!
Amir: I didn't walk to work in that. I took the bus!
Jake: Aw, god, you're not wearing any shoes!
Amir: And?
Jake: It's snowing outside.
Amir: And?
Jake: That's it.
Amir: So lemme get this straight. You're jealous of—
Jake: Wow, no, you're already wrong. You know what, put on socks, put on shoes, put on pants, put on a shirt—
Amir: Put on a break! Bitin break—
Jake: What? Huh?
Amir: Gimme a break!
Jake: Give me a break?
Amir: Yeah.
Jake: Right.
Amir: Sorry, you weren't saying give me shoes, give me this, so.
Jake: Right, I said put on.
Amir: Yeah. So I made do.
Jake: Gotcha.
Amir: You know when life gives you lemons, you make do.
Jake: Okay, forget it, that's not the phrase.
Amir: Okay, yes, forget it, cause I am late for yoga.
Jake: Wow, so you haven't even been to yoga yet.
Amir: Oh my god, no, I haven't been to yoga yet! I don't even know where I can enroll!
Jake: You're not enrolled in a yoga class?!
Amir: No, I'm not enrolled in a yoga class, okay! I'm sorry, last time I checked, I came into work, and you stopped me, huh? I didn't say anything to you. So why don't we just sit across from each other, keep our nose to the f**king grindstone and not to talk each other for half a second, huh? Is that an option, dude?
Jake: Okay, you're right, I'm sorry.
Amir: I was messing with you, man! Come on, let's hug it out over that one.
Jake: No.
Amir: Yeah, we're definitely hugging it out.
Jake: No, we're definitely not—
Amir: We definitely are!


(Jake and Amir are hugging)

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